Finding out the Truth


Juliette Saiz

Being a child comes with wonderful bliss. Around this time many years ago we all had belief in a magical fat man that had a snowy white beard. Though one of the hardships of growing up is learning your magical friends aren’t actually real. Some feel like they’ve been lied to and others accept the truth. Personally I didn’t understand what was happening when the news was broken to me. I lived in Texas and was in the first grade. I remember always trying to stay up to see Santa and my mom telling me he wouldn’t come if I was awake. Many Christmases I tried to pretend to be asleep but with my eyes closed for a while I eventually dozed off into my dreams. I always thought it was weird how we allowed an old man into our house and how he would fit my presents in the front door because I never lived in a place that had a fireplace. Every time I was skeptical about how Santa made no sense I was always reassured that he was magical and somehow I believed that.

The night I learned Santa wasn’t real was the same night I learned all the magical beings are fake too. It was some time in Spring and because I was around seven years old  I was losing my baby teeth. Of course, like most children do, I believed in the tooth fairy. I was excited to get a couple of dollars that night. I made sure to tell my mom that I lost it and brag to my brothers about it too. It was like a normal day and nothing was out of the ordinary. I used to go on my mom’s phone to play games but this day I got nosy. My dad had just texted and I wanted to see what it said so I opened their messages and investigated. 

I don’t remember what his text said but I do remember scrolling up on the conversation and reading the messages that said, “Juliette lost her tooth today” and my dad responding “Great! Slip a few dollars under her pillow.” I remember being confused and somewhat in shock. I looked up at my mom and asked “Why are you putting money under my pillow, isn’t that the tooth fairy’s job?” My mom grabbed her phone out of my hand and saw what text I read. She gave me a look that was mixed with disappointment and sympathy then walked out of the room. I went along with my day normally but was still really confused.  

When my dad got home he called my brothers and I into the living room. We all sat on the couch and he kind of just stared at us. I don’t remember the full conversation but the point of it was to break the news that Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and all of those people weren’t real. I remember just being confused, that my parents were playing a joke on me, until my dad said “Jesse has known for a while.” I think this sentence was what made me realize that it wasn’t a joke and what was being said was true. I don’t remember what else happened that night but I always felt guilty for being the reason that it was taken away from my other brother Julian. 

We still followed the same traditions as always. Instead of the presents saying “From: Santa” they now said “From: Mom and Dad.” When my friends would talk about how excited they were about Santa coming I never got jealous. I always felt like I was a part of a big secret that only older people knew and because of this I never told anyone about the lie. Make sure to allow the little ones around to believe as long as possible even though I never felt like something was taken away from me, though I do wish I got to believe in it for a little longer.