What is it Like to be Bisexual?


Co Schifris

Twenty years ago, being a member of the LGBTQ+ community was not something that was smiled upon. But now, being gay, lesbian, or bisexual is becoming commonplace and is largely accepted. However, despite there being more people who accept LGBTQ+ as they are, it is impossible to change everyone’s minds. There will always be those that disagree, and people who think that they are “freaks and sinners.” Often, these people refer to the bible to prove their point. But these people are taking certain verses and ignoring others.

When I first started to question my sexuality, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to come out or not. I felt like nobody would accept me because I wasn’t straight. I was afraid that my friends would alienate me, or see me as something different. I also did not know how my parents would react. So, for a long time, I didn’t tell them that I thought I was bisexual. Then, I made some friends who were a part of the community. They helped me realize that if my friends and family did not like who I was, that was their own problem. They taught me to be myself and acknowledge that there will always be haters. I knew it would be hard if people I cared about stopped talking to me because I came out, but I also knew that I needed to be honest with the world about who I was.

So, one day at lunch, I told my entire friend group that I was bisexual. While it didn’t change most of their opinions of me, one of my friends turned out to be extremely homophobic. She told me that I would go to hell and suffer for the rest of eternity. She also made it clear that she was no longer going to talk to me because she did not want to be condemned by association. It hurt me that a girl I considered to be a good friend would change her mind about me so suddenly.

Even though it may seem like it hurts the most when people you care about reject you, sometimes a stranger’s hatred can hurt just as much, if not more. There have been times when I’m out and about with my girlfriend and people have figured out we’re dating. While this does not happen often, sometimes we will get dirty looks or an occasional rude comment. These words and looks hurt. After all, you cannot choose who you are attracted to.

To all the homophobes out there, here’s a little wake-up call: being lesbian, being gay, being bisexual, etc. is more than a decision that we make. This is something that we’re born with. Statistics from a scientific experiment show that homosexuals had far more gray matter volumes (GMV) in a part of their brain called the putamen than heterosexual people did. While this is a fairly new study and scientists are not sure why this affects one’s sexuality, it is clear that it does have an impact. Therefore, not being straight isn’t a choice; it’s neurological. And, while I know you might have a different opinion, I ask that you don’t treat people differently just because they are different from you. It is like racism, when you think about it; the only difference is that you are discriminating against us because of our sexuality rather than our skin. You tell us that we get special treatment because of this, and that we are whining and need to suck it up and stop being who we are. But we can’t. We are who we are, and we can’t change it.